...🌸How To Give Right🌺... Communication Speech Mindfully.
Look for the many ways people
communicate their love without saying it.
When you avoid people who differ from you,
you shut yourself off from different
perspectives and reduce your capacity for
creative solutions.
Your inner stories are based on your own
opinions. By listening deeply and openly to
your inner dialogue, you can replace the
inner authority figure with a more loving,
nurturing voice.
The more you practice concentrating on the
breath, the longer you will be able to
sustain a mindful listener’s composure, free
from internal distraction.
Anger is like picking up hot coals with your
bare hands and trying to throw them at
the person you’re angry at. Who gets
burned first?
Avoid using “should” and absolutes like
“never,” “always,” and “every.” Absolutes
are hot-button words that can easily shut
down the other person’s willingness to
listen.
Poke holes of wakefulness into your mindless
communication habits.
What you do not say in a situation is often
as important as what you say.
Listening to your words during stressful
discussions is essential to avoid fueling the
fire.
You can align your speech to the principles
of what is truthful and what is most kind
and helpful.
Speak only that which you know yourself,
see by yourself, and find by yourself.
An alert, calm state of mindfulness,
achieved through regular practice, begins
to permeate every interaction.
Take the time to express support for
someone else’s project or work.
Connection is your true nature; you just
have to learn to permit it.
The precept of Noble Silence is practiced
with no radio, no phone, no television, no
writing, no reading, no Internet.
You can stop what you are doing right now
and send an e-mail that contains Right
Speech.
Remember that how you say something is as
important as what you say.
An injury is much sooner forgotten than an
insult. (Lord Chesterfield)
Is the nonstop talker an admired person?
Befriending silence is a process of learning
to befriend yourself.
When you get into a conversation with
someone, stay away from your own agenda.
Ask a few open-ended questions that begin
with “why,” “what,” or “how” to get the
other person talking.
When you say something to someone, she
may not accept it. Do not argue or try to
explain it intellectually; just listen to her
until she finds something wrong with her
own objections.
When in doubt, go for kindness and
postpone saying anything difficult.
When you live in the present moment, you
can be aware of your intentions and can
see their causal relationship with words.
If the point you want to make is sound and
well grounded, there is no need for
aggression or annoyance.
Speech is one area in which karma can be
seen in an easy and direct way.
If you have questions or concerns, place
them in the center of the circle for the
whole group to contemplate and address.
Meditation siphons off the pools of old
collected experience, allowing you to act
skillfully and compassionately in the
present instead of reacting to the past. Let
go, forgive, and accept.
Send an e-mail or leave a voicemail message
just to say “I love you.”
It is unrealistic to expect to immediately
switch from anger or hate to compassion
and love. Patience and tolerance are the
middle ground.
Recognize that words are imperfect, so give
them limited importance.
A mindful listener is one who allows the
speaker to express his heart and mind and
expound on his ideas without censure.
Silence remains, inescapably, a form of
speech. (Susan Sontag)
Negative speech creates an environment in
which it becomes difficult to do anything
positive. You cannot feel good about
yourself when you intentionally hurt
someone else.
You are faced with guilt and remorse when
you speak negatively. Why should anyone
trust you if you speak harshly?
People carry deep wounds in their hearts
that have been inflicted by words of anger.
Be mindful and let your speech come from
the heart.
If you get caught in a lie, it will be assumed
that it is not the first lie that you told.
We have an equal need to see, hear, and
know others for who they are, to celebrate
their joy and empathize with their pain.
Sometimes the most skillful speech is Noble
Silence.
If you know anything that is helpful and
true, find the right time. Think about
what you are about to say; make sure that
it will be helpful and also true, and the
right time has come.
The right time to speak is when the other
person is agreeable to listening and is
peaceful. It should also be at a time when
you have loving feelings for that other
person.
Sitting meditation practice trains your mind
to slow down and interrupt the speed of
your thought process.
Whenever you are about to do or say
something, ask yourself if the action or
words will result in well-being or harm. If
well-being, then do or say it. If harm, then
do not do or say it.
Weigh the advantages of forgiveness and
resentment. Then choose.
Listen without the imprisoning frame of
your imagined and remembered stories, so
you can truly communicate with others.
Arrive at a meeting a few minutes early so
you have time to relax and breathe
mindfully.
Satisfying short-term desires will never make
you deeply happy or satisfied with life.
Consider the long-term effects of your
words and actions.
Do you have the patience to wait till your
mud settles and the water is clear? Can you
remain unmoving till the right action
arises by itself? (Lao-tzu)
Next time you talk to your best friend, relish
the pauses and also the trust flowing
within the conversation.
Lower your voice.
The act of saying something kind, true, and
honest is in itself the reward.
If you want others to listen and understand
you better, think about what makes you
want to listen.
Mindful breathing is the first step to
mindful communicating because it relaxes
you in body and mind.
Respond with humor.
In any meeting, practice being open and
listening to the experience and insight of
others.
Make a mental note when you have
discovered that wrong speech leads to
harm. Tell the person using wrong
speech—but only when she is ready to
hear it.
Imagine that all your comments and
opinions are like drops of water falling into
a pond and that the ripples represent the
signals you send out to those around you.
Remember that you also communicate
through energy, emotions, gestures, eye
contact, and facial expressions.
As you connect with yourself, you begin
connecting more deeply with other people.
Without the first step, the second step is
not possible.
Source :-
What Would Buddha Say ? - Barbara Ann Kipfer ( Free Book Available On Pdf Drive )
